Willpower is not a Trait, it’s a Skill that’s Built Using this Method..

Building Unshakeable Willpower One Day at a Time

What could you achieve with the ability resist any temptation? Imagine your true potential over your lifetime.

What if your willpower was a skill you can improve? It's not something you're born with, it’s a skill you must strengthen.

Let’s explore how to build lasting willpower and conquer your biggest temptations.

You know that guy who can somehow say no to a cold beer at the end of a hard day, every time? Even when it’s sprung on him out of nowhere?
Or that girl at the office who has the vending machine staring right at her all day, but never gets tempted?

And then there’s you; sometimes you nail it - but often give in, disappointedly sighing after reopening Instagram for the 44th time that day despite saying no more until after work.

This was me too. I spammed the snooze button for 45 minutes every morning, couldn’t say no to a night out, or keep myself away from the vending machine at work no matter how many times I said to myself ‘Right, no more! You have goals to reach.’

What if I told you I haven’t eaten McDonald's in 8 years, and it’s easy for me to say no to alcohol; even with all the built-in excuses like ‘You’re on holiday’, ‘England are in the final’, ‘You trained earlier, you’ve earned it’

The excuses to give in to addictive traps are endless. What isn’t endless is the time you have to achieve your personal goals.

Addictive Trap: A seemingly harmless compulsion that derails your goals in exchange for a quick release of dopamine, creating a cycle of instant gratification and long-term setbacks.

I no longer need willpower to avoid junk food or alcohol. I strengthened my willpower by saying no repeatedly until they lost their power over me. Now, they're simply ‘things I can live without, with ease’.

Do the things that bring you joy, after all your list of ‘good’ and ‘bad’ things in life are personal to you. But learn to recognise the times you’re getting sucked into things you don’t value that much, things you said you wouldn’t do again, or things holding you back from being the person you want to be.

The battles we face with willpower often revolve around food that tastes damn good but kills us from the inside-out, substances like alcohol that might take the edge of a stressful day but steal tomorrow’s esteem & happiness from us, or social media that might make us feel connected to the world but keep us from enjoying the present moment.

These temptations are powerful forces shaped by our routines, emotions, and social environments and require a boat load of willpower to finally put them to bed.

With these addictive traps, most people’s advice is ‘keep it out of the house’ or ‘out of sight out of mind’.

This idea might help you stay off Instagram because you deleted the app, or be more disciplined during your food shopping. But what happens when you sign up for Instagram again to start your side hustle, or Anne from accounts brings in chocolates for her birthday?

If your willpower was a 5/10 before ‘keeping chocolate out of the house,’ it’s still a 5/10 when chocolates are offered to you. So you munch away like nobody's business, making up for lost time with that creamy confectionery.

And the reality is, these things happen often. Your barber offers you a cheeky Turkish delight, your boss brings in donuts because you worked through your lunch break, or a customer gives you a bottle of wine because you’re damn good at your job.

And you’re back to square one. Lying in bed telling yourself you blew it, again.

Don’t get me wrong, keeping bad things away from you is a good start, and maybe you should start there. I certainly did with Instagram; I took 6 months away before managing to have it ‘addiction free,’ only opening it to post when I’ve written another epic essay like this (follow me, innit). But it’s not the complete picture, and reaching your goals isn’t easy, especially for an ambitious son of a gun like yourself.

Here’s the hard part, but the part that finally sets you free from these addictive traps ruling over you.

Stare that fucker in the face and still say no.

Building willpower is like growing a tree; at first, it requires active, daily attention, ensuring it’s in the right environment and protected from rocky weather (stress) or pests interfering (the bastards at the pub texting you to come down ‘for one’).

But after a while of daily work, it’s strong enough to not need any attention, maybe just the odd bit of admiration for how far it’s come. :)
And soon enough it slips into the category of ‘things I don’t do, with ease,’ like crack (hopefully).

This concept in practice

I want to reiterate that ‘out of sight out of mind’ might be the best start for you, but to grow your willpower tree from a mere sapling to a beast, you need this next part.

Willpower is built by having temptation right in front of you, looking into its enticing eyes, and still choosing to refrain.

That might be having Instagram on your homepage and refusing to click on it, or having that cake on your kitchen top and telling it to go fu..eat itself.

Welcome these addictive traps to sit right in front of you, challenging you to give in.

Now you have a bigger reason to say no, it’s no longer just extra calories, or some time wasted; you’re strengthening your willpower to conquer these traps and reach your goals.

You know what a cheeseburger tastes like, but not what looking in the mirror and thinking ‘hell yeah, I’m looking the best I’ve ever looked’ feels like.

You know what doomscrolling insta is like, but not what an anxiety-free day feels like.

You know what booze feels like, but you haven’t experienced the incredible compounding effects of being hangover-free for 3 months.

Start by getting these enemies away from you; then welcome them back, for war. And then sit back and laugh when Karen is almost forcing those chocolates down your neck, and you can say no with ease.

Tips on winning the war:

Controlled Exposure: We want to stare our enemies in the face as much as possible, but to begin with, if you know there’s a specific time of the week where your current willpower might falter, you can revert back to the ‘out of sight out of mind’ technique and slowly expose yourself more and more. For example, if Saturday night is the most tempting time for a beer, build your exposure up for Friday evenings and Saturday mornings, and put it away for Saturday night. But know that your final goal is to stare at that beer at any time and be strong enough to say no.

The 10-Minute Rule: When Karen whips out those chocolates and ‘oh go on then’ is at the tip of your tongue, switch it to, ‘I’ll take one later,’ and give yourself 10 minutes to make the decision. Often, your sweet-toothed chimp brain will calm down, and your more sensible side will remember summer is coming up.

Create Alternatives: Healthy alternatives are a weapon in this war. If you’re a doom scroller just before bed, charge your phone on the other side of the room and keep a book on your pillow. If junk food on the way home from work is your weakness, keep healthy snacks in the car to blunt your hunger until you arrive home.

I hope this has helped you see willpower in a different way, and will help you finally win the war against these addictive traps.

I’d appreciate it if you could share this essay with someone you care about who might benefit from reading it.

Peace,
Henry

Other bits: 

I wrote an essay last week on Building Unbreakable Discipline - Read that here :) 

I have a Reddit Community where we share our goals & struggles and help push each other forward. - The Noble Method

---

Insights I loved this week: 

“All of us who do creative work, we get into it because we have good taste. But there’s this gap. For the first couple of years you make stuff, it’s just not that good. It’s trying to be good, it has potential, but it’s not. But your taste, the thing that got you into the game, is still killer” 
-Ira Glass

I left school at 16, and was in bottom-set english until then. So words & writing aren’t my thing, but I’ve been a sponge for knowledge on how to improve myself for the last 11 years - so even if my essays are terrible right now, I still want to share the most powerful nuggets that have stuck in my mind and helped me level up.

“You should be convinced in your heart that you’re doing the best with what you’ve been given”
-Jordan Peterson (on Theo Von’s Podcast)

---

Things I’m grateful for this week (most occurring themes from my daily journal):

Friends & Family: quality time doing positive activities & that I can share embarrassing projects with (like these essays).

Health: That despite a spine injury, I’m not chronically ill, and that I’m able to train regularly & make progress. 

Nature & Outdoors: Living around nature. That I can walk in a nice environment, and enjoy the sun around amazing views. 

Things I’ve nailed this week:

Training: Gym sessions: 3 | Jiu Jitsu classes: 2 | Pilates classes: 2 | Mobility classes: 2 | Yoga classes: 1

Meditation: Still on my streak - around 90 days in a row now. 

Things to be improved next week: 

Youtube usage: A few weeks ago I was using youtube like google. If I had a problem I wanted to solve, I’d watch a video to solve it, and exit off. But the last 4 days I’ve been letting the algo do its thing and distract me. Today I was back strong, I want to keep it up next week.

Meditating in the morning: I’ve still done it everyday, but it’s been the last thing I do. I want to bring it back as part of ‘front loading’ my day with my positive rituals. 

If you got this far, you’re a legend and I appreciate you.

See ya soon,

Henry

The Noble Method by @NoblePrimate